getai virgin performance

had my virgin performance on the 18th dec 2010 at sky pan's getai lolz...was ask to choose 3 songs to sing so i decided on 2 hokkien songs and 1 chinese song namely 阿娜塔，褪色的恋情 and 你怎么说...response for the 1st 2 songs was so so only...but the last song seems widely appreciated by the audience hahaha...guess picking songs for getai is an impt choice too...

overall the experience was nice...just that i really dunno what to talk on stage...and perhaps its been some times since i talk on mic..somehow i find my voice weird when im talking lolz

dunno when i will have my next performance...got to wait for call...sky did promise he will try his bext to gimme more stage performance =D so meanwhile...all the best to me!

boo~

BOO! sorry for the lonnnnggggggg absence again hahaha...too lazy to update my blog....been bz trying to earn money and finding lobangs lolz...am kinda happy i manage to save some money...although its not alot...but im still glad i somehow did it!!! jiayou jiayou jiayou!!!! will be back to continue on my blog soon!!! enjoy the festive season~~

merry christmas!!

Merry Christmas To My Loved Ones And All My Dear Friends~~~~

its been a long absense for me from my blog...lots of things happen...i dont even know how should i start blogging down.

was away to KL last week and had a big fight with him, it hurts terribly, to the extend that i call it off.....didnt know the pain could be so bad for a 3 months relationship.

few days later i went back to KL for videoing, saw him again...the heartache just gets more intense...i realise i just cant let go =(

we had a small talk over the whole thing again...i know i've hurt him with certain things which i've done...but it doesnt means i dont feel anything too...

the final conclusion after our talk is to give each other a chance to start all over again...although im so afraid of history repeating...i know im willing to give it a shoot again...hopefully things work out fine this time round.

will be starting out on a job which im highly interested in on 18th dec...it will be a trial run for me...hope i can make it...really wish to venture into this line since ages ago...now that im given a chance, i must treasure it =)

thks to kx too for his lobang...i got myself a part time freelance photographer job...although its not highly paid...its still better then me doing nothing...so meanwhile i'll just grab it and set things going...

year end is coming...i really hope things will turn better for me next year...

happy 3rd month

happy 3rd month to you...

today marks the 3rd month into our relationship...but instead of being happy...i felt hurt and sadness...not bcos im too free to think of all the nonsense...not bcos i got nothing better to do...but its a fact things have change...been scrolling down my facebook for the past few days...looking back at my past status and your past comments actually make me smile and feel the sweetness which i was having at that time...but somehow now that feeling is gone....

i dunno what went wrong? where is the anticipation we had, gone? is that a sign? a sign that things wont last long...im really so tired...i really dont wish having to starts things all over again...its hurts...do you know that?

curiosity kills the cat??

its just so scary when a once loving relationship turns into a sour and full of hatred enmity...chance upon his ex's blog quite sometimes back and read thru...the most recent post was actually scolding him...and well ermmm...i guess she's scolding me too (if im not wrong in my guessing) hahaha...its a misunderstanding anyway...the whole thing really set me wondering what happen between them...what have he done to cause so much hatred in her...from what i knew...their relationship didnt last very long...or could it be the unhappy times they had together are way much more than their happy times...well...i guess certain things are sometimes better left unknown isnt it....

all i knew was...she loved him deeply...be it from the post or my woman's instinct...i just knew he meant alot to her...although the words she used are just so simple...but i can really feel the hurt she is having....it must have been disastrous when he decided to leave her....

from her fb i saw that she have been emphasizing how happy she is now...what a good life she is leading too...but is that the real case? i do not deny that time heals all wound...but the more she update on how happy she is...the more fake i would feel it is...it just seems to me that she is trying to tell others she is ok...but maybe she is in fact not...trying too hard to cover i guess...tho i hope she will be fine soon...well...nobody is indispensable in this world anyway...so losing anyone will not let the earth stop rotating....

hopefully i wont come to a day when my heart has to be filled with hatred....i hate that feeling...all im asking for is simple happiness....will it be granted?

wish

have been thinking of going oversea to stay and work for quite sometimes...simply bcos i dont see any future i will get in singapore...but i have too much things which i can yet to let go....the most basic one is my family....

i've always envy my friends who can just leave everything behind and go for their dreams...when will it be my turn? kinda stressful to be living in a country thats always in a rush of time...maybe its bcos im a very laidback person...never like to push myself into getting things done...since young, i've always prefer to take my own timing to get things done...some people call that lazy hahahaha...but well...individual preference isnt it =)

hopefully one day i can have my wish come true...change a new enviroment...fulfil my dreams and live happily ever after...pray for me yea =)

its the time of my favourite festive season again!!!!

HaPpY 2010 hAlLoWeEn To AlL mY dEaR fRiEnDs~~~

what's wrong?

is it just me? or am i expecting too much...im seriously starting to feel the stress....what is wrong? can someone tell me...

这感觉好像已经慢慢远离我了，应该是处在蜜月期的我们，已经没像刚开始时的那么甜蜜了。。而可怕的是，我们在一起只不过才两个月多而已。

他，对我还是很好，只不过少了那份甜蜜，那份激情。

我害怕，害怕这种感觉。。。那不被爱和冷落的感觉。。

或许，他以习惯了用这种方式来对待他的前女友，又或许这就是他一路来的作风，但
是, 我还是希望我是特别的那一位。。

我不喜欢那种被冷落的感觉，不喜欢被抛在脑后的感觉。。。

但他，总是那么粗心大意，很多时候都没察觉我的不开心 haiz....

十月十二日 (晴)

男人，女人 与 朋友。。。

为什么那么多男人会那么在意他们朋友所说的一切呢? 为什么一些人对他们的女朋
友一般一般时，也会把他们那一套不知所为的想法注入他们周围朋友的思想。难道
他们心理不平衡? 看不过朋友对他们爱的女人好一些? 有一些男人也很莫明其妙，
当他们的朋友把他们的女朋友说的一文不值的时候，他竟然没有维护他的女朋友，
而加入了帮忙说一份。这是否又对他们的女朋友公平呢? 究竟在有困难和难题时，
到底是他的这一些所谓的朋友还是那傻傻的女朋友会不顾一切的守着他?

我决不能容许我的男人在不帮我维护的情况下却加入帮忙多踩我一脚。如果这就是
他爱我的表现，那就省起来吧，这样的爱不要也罢。

在一段感情中，我要求的其实并不多，我要的是一个能给我安全感，会维护我，会
在任何情况下都相信我，不欺欺骗骗的男人。很难办到吗?

如果你是那么在乎别人的看法，如果你是那么在意你的朋友，如果连最基本的维护
与疼惜你都不能给我，那么我想，我们是不可能长久的。

朋友固然重要，而真正用心和你交朋友的人是不会在旁左右你的思想的。一个连尊
重都不会给你爱的人，可想而知他是个可交或不可交的朋友。你慢慢去想个清楚吧...

应为我始终相信。。。爱你的人是不会让你难过的...

heart sinking..

that terrible feeling is back once again...and im seriously hating it...cos its hurting me =(

why must u do this to me again? where are the promises u made to me? do u know the heart sinking feeling i get when i know the truth? do u know how hurt i felt in my heart? to you..it might just be a small problem...or maybe not even consider a problem at all...but to me...it cause a really big impact...i dunno how much i mean to you...now im even beginning to doubt...do i even stand a place in your heart...i just made a really simple request from you...and yet u broke it twice....im getting the unstable feeling in our relationship more and more...if you are not serious about it...pls let me know...i will just let go...im really really very tired from all these....

whats the point of saying sorry when u intend to do it again and again...whats the point of saying sorry when u dont mean it....i was having high hopes for both of us...but now...everything just get shattered...have i really made a wrong move?

=(

WTF???

just what the fuck is happening zzzzzzzzzzzz

removing everything from me doesnt kill me...cant u just wake up from ur fucking idea and stop behaving like a small kid??? even my daughter is so much more matured than you! im utterly disappointed....so call "brother"...today then i realise that everything i do is useless...

you keep thinking the whole world let u down...keep saying people make use of you...keep saying people abuse your kindness towards them...is that really the case?? so what makes u think now u can abuse my tolerance towards u too?? how the hell can i put up with all your nonsense all these while...i really dont understand...

im really starting to wonder...how many humans outside actually treat u as their friend...with ur this kinda stupid temperament...how many people can actually stand it and put up with you...now im beginning to pity ur family...not personal attack...but seriously...i really think u have to go see a psychologist...its getting more and more serious every single day...

i totally gave up on you...im really sorry for having to let go of this brotherhood with you...im seriously having enough of all these shit...if ever one day you realise that what u did is wrong, its still a good thing...but sorry...i wont be around anymore to share everything with you....

disappointed

you are already 30 over...yet still doing things like a small kid...I'm utterly disappointed at what you have done last night...i am not upset over the returning of stuffs to you...that's all yours anyway....but you have just shown me how good you are at handling things....not happy...just take everything back...happy...you just give everything to people....what i wanted to say was...not only you have temperament, not only you have the right to get angry...the rest of the people are entitle to their rights too....when i always didnt say anything doesnt mean i agree with you...i just dont want to argue...why must you insist people on going your way? have you spare a thought for the others? why is it then when you want something...its a must to get it done asap and yet when others want something from you...you take your own sweet time?

you have changed so much...is it because you have become so famous that you have forgotten how to appreciate those around you? if you were to continue lidat..in no time i'm sure you will lost all your true friends...seriously...nobody owes you anything...we, as individual human, have the right to choose what we want...dont deprive others from their rights...i do hope that one day you will wake up to your ideas and realise what went wrong...anyway...all the best to you....

pressure

been feeling some stress ever since we both started...not stress over the distance...not stress over the gap...but its the stress from those outsiders...i dunno what have he done to incurred so much wrath from the others...i dunno what exactly is happening...

i choose to believe him from my stand...i choose not to just listen to one sided story...and definitely i hope those of my closest ones around me believe him like how i do too...its a gamble afterall...

i wanted him to prove to others that he is not what the rumours had spread...i want him to show them that all the rumours are not real...this takes time...but im willing to face all these with him...its not gonna be easy...but im sure we can do it..

i really hope those people will stop all the rumours spreading....be it out of any reasons they had...it just get real frustrating when the same thing have been repeated to me times and again...

although i may be wrong...i may be right about believing in him too....so i sincerely hope all my friends can share the same thoughts as me...spare me all the nonsense please..

lil' updates

its been a long time since i last blog...was really busy after i came back from kuching, sarawak...i shall just update bits and pieces of whats happening on certain days =)

19/09/2010 - bebe came over to the airport to fetch me with my bro...i'm really happy to see him after we parted from my last KL trip...but sad to say...i overheard some stuffs about him which really cause me unhappiness...this is the first time he "lie" to me...and yes...im utterly disappointed...why am i facing these shit again i keep asking myself...haiz...but well...chance were given of cos...just hope i dont hv to go thru this again...

20/09/2010 - 21/09/2010 - nothing much happen...went drinking with the usual kakis at M bar with bebe...

22/09/2010 - was suppose to drive up to KL...but some issues happen and my trip was delay to the next day..

23/09/2010 - happen to find out some unhappy issues again...my heart just dropped...the news just chilled my heart...its just a short period of time only and yet i get to see all these...went over to change car with ah beng to drive up to KL...things keep wondering in my mind...should i come back home straight after the kuala pilah lion dance comp videoing...was in a dilemma...it hurts...and yes...after the talk..i decided to just rub off the thing...hoping that it will never happen again....

24/09/2010 - came back from KL...met up with the usual gang again and drink

25/09/2010 - was up early preparing for lei sheng anniversary...the whole thing last till night time after the banquet ends...shagged out totally...but end up i didnt go home to rest...its out to drinking again...

26/09./2010 - had a really good rest...after that drop by to yangwei for supper with the guys...after supper, bebe and me went over to marina barrage for a chill out session with some beers on hand...lend him my ears for his problems too...everything will be fine de...dont think too much bebe hong =)

27/09/2010 - time for him to go back to KL...he was emo-ing the night before...we have to part for the time being again...i do miss him...in fact i was planning to go back with him to KL...but i cant cos i have my dragon dance training for cjh anniversary...can only hope that he will settle his stuffs soon and join me back in sg...after he left...i must admit that im a lil' not use to the emptiness....the feel of being alone...but well...there's nothing much i can do too....

went for my dragon dance training after sending him off...its time to start remembering all the taoshi again cos some changes are added into the whole thing...hopefully i can handle everything and give a splendid performance =)

will be off to sarawak in another few hours time...and yes...im travelling alone cos bebe couldnt make it....i'll be back on 19th sept which is this coming sunday...hopefully this trip of mine is not as bored as im expecting it to be...

wont be taking any photo shoots this time round cos im alone...so only video taking...

bon voyage to me~

i'm sad...

been feeling rather down these few days...disappointment and sadness...Bebe didn't come as planned...and i guess i will have to make this trip alone to Sarawak =(

something happen at his work place initially...then follow by his grand uncle dismissal...i fully understand that all these are not within his control and he did try his best to fulfil his words to me...but still i cant help myself but to feel the disappointment...

i didnt mean to create any stress or pressure when i ask him when can i expect him to reach...but somehow the message went across the wrong way and thus cause a small arguement between us...haiz...

been looking forward to this sarawak trip but now i guess its no longer the same feel anymore...

=(

unhappy

been feeling kinda frustrated over someone these few days...although i know its not within my control...but i really cannot tolerate at times...

why would someone wanna risk what he have now over those stupid things...told him times and again not to do it but sadly...he turns a deaf ear to it...i really dont wish to see anything bad happen to him...its not easy for him to gain what he have now...and i definitely dont want to see him losing everything one day....but im feeling so helpless...

what if the deadful day arrives? what am i suppose to do? hang on everything for him? or just let it be? this thought is just so scary...i pray that things will be well for him...pray that he will be safe...and i hope nothing serious will ever happen....god bless....

long distance relationship...

someone ask me a question just now...why would i want a long distance relationship when i can just get one in singapore....and my reply was...it could be a good thing afterall....since we dont get to meet so often....lesser conflict too =)

i guess after my 8 years relationship....im going very easy on love matters....although im still so afraid of heartache, afraid of shedding tears, afraid of the sinking heart feeling...i still hope to keep my finger cross that everything will be ok....

was rather unhappy over some issue recently...so i decided to had a small talk with him just now...i really do hope my message do get across to him loud and clear....someone told me to just open and close one eye cos he belongs to those friendly and playful type...i ask myself...am i even ready to just do that? but sadly...i know i cant...when it comes to love...i am selfish....i guess this applies to others too....

i dont want to mould him into my perfect lover...nor do i want him to change himself to fit into me...but at the very least...i want him to spare a thought for me in whatever he do...it really hurts when i see what i shouldnt be seeing or hear what i shouldnt have heard...

but well...i will still hold on to my principle....as long as i dont caught him red handed...he shall have my 100% trust...lets just hope that this relationship of mine can withstand all the test...

=)

happy times passes fast...

happy time passes real fast...here i am back to singapore...will start my hectic schedule tml...after takashimaya lion dance competition...i'll be off to sarawak with my bebe for the fliming of lion dance again...will be fully pack till october 6th....im kinda enjoying this kind of life style im having now =) looking forward to my next trip oversea again...

blogging from KL, Kepong now...today its already the 4th day i'm with him....another 3 more days and i have to part with him temporally and i know i will miss him badly =( .....i wonder how's life after this temp separation...

really looking forward to our next meet up...thank you bebe hong for the time u spend with me...muackz! =)

didnt really go to many places when i'm in KL...met up with my cousin and have a lil' catch up...then went drinking at Mist and Solaris Pub...met some interesting people...nice =)

when i'm back to sg its time to get tied up for taka lion dance competition...from 6th to 12t sept...i have to report for work there every night...hopefully work can take my mind off for the time being...so i wont feel the emptiness...

meanwhile...i wanna spend my time happily these few days...till we meet again...pls take care bebe..muackz! =)

love is in the air~~

‎~"Successful relati0nship is n0t finding the perfect partner but being able t0 c0mmunicate effectively with the partner u have. TRUST-the greatest thing u can give and have t0...m0re preci0us than material things,u can't h0ld it in ur hand but u can feel it in ur heart,Relati0nships d0 n0t need pr0mises,terms, and c0nditi0ns.It just needs tw0 w0nderful pe0ple;0ne wh0 can trust and 0ne wh0 can understand.''~

the sweetest thing in life...is to found someone who really appreciate you for who you are....to love you whole heartedly...to share your happiness and woes...

i'm glad i was given a chance to meet this man...someone who have a high chance of creating a turning point in my life...someone whom i believe can create a big impact on me =)

no doubt we are miles apart...no doubt things are not gonna be easy...i hope we can really work something out....

isnt it sweet to always have that special someone who is always showing you love and concern? the warm hearted feeling you'll get...its just beyond words to describe...

frankly speaking...this current relationship which i'm having...is somewhat different to the previous which i had...its just so...strong...perhaps "touching" is the word...it alway feels nice to be include in your partner daily activities and also in his future...and yes...i hear that...future planning =)

i may or may not be existing in his future...but i have to admit...i'm happy that i wasnt left out...even if i cant hold on to his future...i'll be holding on to the memories he left me...

now i just wish to treasure every single day...every moment i spend with him....i guess i just learn to not take things too hard...what is meant to happen will happen eventually...and what is mine will be mine too...

lastly...thanks for coming into my life...ily <3>

oversea again soon

i will be leaving for malaysia soon in another few days...will be travelling up to KL and meet my bebe haha...will only be back to singapore on either 4th or 5th cos i got to attend the seasons drum competition held in JB...ever since august started...i have been travelling around malaysia and im really enjoying it lolz...all thks to my bro for giving me the chance...im really indebted to him lor...he even gave me jobs to do so i can earn extra income...nice right? thank you bro! =)

the stitch above is a gift from my bebe...thanks him for the thoughts...really appreciate it...cant wait to see him soon lolz...count down starts!! 6 more days to go~~ yeah!!

my schedule

will be resting for this month of august....once sept starts im gonna start bz like hell again...from going in to jb videoing the season drums competition to takashimaya lion competition to sarawak lion competition to KL lion competition...will be tied up for the whole of sept....

will be expecting my bebe to sg and my giangian too...gonna have a very happy time together....my best friends and my love one will be with me...looking forward to the dates =)

==========================================

dunno why but today i have a weird feeling....cant actually describe what is that feeling...seems like a sense of loss...seems like a feeling of despair...is everything gonna be alright?

my favourite song~

this song just touches my heart in everyway...and its specially for "you"

loving you

the feeling just gets stronger everyday...

and i miss him so much....

i pray that he will be my last relationship....my last man....<3

would it be granted?

new found love~

八月十九日 (晴)

好久没有这种感觉了，很甜，很幸福 =)

虽然认识的时间很短，但我始终都觉得那不是一个问题。

他，出现在我的生命了。也不知道是什么时候，是什么感觉，我竟然对他有好感了。


在我还不确定他是否也和我一样有那种感觉的时候，原来他也一样在观察着我 哈哈哈。

在宾城一起共度的时间很快乐，虽然只是短短的一天，却有那么多的回忆与欢乐。


虽然要把一段长途恋情搞好并不容易，但我相信我们都会努力的，我希望这一切不会让我失望。

翰，记得我们约好要一起幸福！希望我们能做到。

我好想你！但也相信那是一场考验，如果我们都能紧紧守着，那将会是我们的成果。就让我们一起加油 ok? <3

movie - 老牛与嫩草

went to watch this show purely bcos my dog, thaddea, is involve in it.....not a very nice show tho...

although my furkid only appear for a few second...im still glad we are given a chance to starr in this movie...rating for this show i will only give it a 3/5....for those who dont mind supporting local production...you might wanna give it a try =)

tired....

am so tired...mentally and physically...just what am i searching for? i really have no clue....

am i fated to be a failure? its coming 2 months soon...just one more week to go...have i really let go? but why do i still feel my heart aching?? will i ever love again?

will be flying off to penang on 13th august to 17th august...kinda look forward to the trip...a getaway is the way out for me....i hate staying in singapore...haiz

desperately seeking happiness~
anyone??

感触

七月三十一日 (晴)

忽然间有一种很深的感触。。。发现了我们的分开竟然是应为他觉得我不够上进。很可笑吧?

他曾经对我说，他给了我很多表现的机会，但是我没有好好的把握，真的是这样吗? 那他是否也曾计算过我给他的无数机会?

我想，当一个人要变的时候，什么借口都能成为一个理由。

在他开始觉得我拖累他的时候，他是否也想起他曾经也曾拖累着我?

我从不要求他回报我，八年的青春也给了他，一次又一次的伤害，不停的给机会，只应为相信他会改变，他，真的变了，变更好了，只是没想到，到头来换来的竟是他的“嫌弃”

这伤口真的能愈合吗? 我渴望着的爱情真的还存在吗?

我想哭，但是哭不出来。。。

waimui in sg

sorry for the lack of updates...been real busy recently...from 18th to the 21st july...was away to penang for lion dance dragon dance competition...and shortly after that...from 22nd to 25th was away to genting...and 26th was back to singapore at bt batok watching international lion dance competition....congrats to thailand khon kean for getting the champion...it was a really splendid performance...well done~

this coming weekend will be singapore zone lion dance competition...got to go support all my friends...after that will be jb international lion and dragon dance again from 5th to 8th august....following 13th to 17th august i will be flying over to penang again for lion dance competition fliming again...so freaking pack but im really enjoying it hahahaha....

i got my good friend nina who is from hong kong staying at my place now...for more of our pics do drop by to my facebook =) she will be going back to hk this coming friday....in fact we went shopping for carebear earlier on and we really bought alot of soft toys back...lolz....now im so madly in love with disney stitch, secret and sweet dream carebears...my collection starts now =)

doubt i will have more time to update on my blog...meanwhile please bear with me...i will try my very best to come back and blog more often...till then...stay tune =D

sorry

sorry for the long absense...been really tied up recently....will be flying over to penang tml after tonight wlcs GMH....will be back on next wednesday afternoon follow by thursday night driving up to genting...this means i will be away for 1 week...finally i can get away from singapore...hopefully i can really relax and enjoy myself there...till then...seeya =)

Movie - 9 Temple

9 Temple

went for thai steamboat with qiang, elvin, kenny and heng at golden mile followed by movie at balastier plaza...as there isnt any nice show, we decided to choose this thai movie - 9 temple....story is all about karma and seriously...after the whole flim...i cant catch what they are trying to tell...in short...it means "this movie sucks"...i will only give it a rating of 1.5/5...storyline slow, complicating story too.... worse was.... i actually fell asleep halfway thru zzzzzzzzz.....i dont normally sleep when im in a movie...of all my life...i've only fall asleep twice in the cinema...the first was watch "star treks" and second was this show "9 temple"...my advice....DO NOT waste your money for this movie ...its just not worth it!

Movie - Twilight - Eclipse

went tiong bahru watch movie twilight with isabel...nice show...touching love scenes of their triangular love...the whole show i would give a rating of 4/5....those who have watch twilight 1 and 2....do not miss this part =)

looking at jacob and edward love for belle makes everyone envy i believe....does this happen in real life? or only in movie? =)

when love turns sour...

it really gets real scary when a relationship turns sour...was browsing facebook when i saw both of my friends who were once a couple bitching at each other...i didnt ask for details, nor am i interested to know whats the whole story about...i just find it sad...why did love turn to hate? why did a once loving couple turn to hurting each other in the end....why cant they part peacefully? why cant they just remain as friends again? why did the once attraction of each other turns to the unbearable sight of each other now? haiz...love...

pleasant surprise

had a very pleasant surprise last sunday...which is on the 27th june 2010...was parking my car under my block when i receive an sms from him...asking me am i free for a coffee...i reply shortly "sure...will reach your place in 15 mins time"

its been 17 long years since we last sat together and had a good chat...he is my ex boyfriend =)
a pretty boy....but due to some misunderstanding...we distance off and just stop contacting each other...over the years i did see him once in a blue moon...but never have i strike up a conversation with him...its was till last year lion dance competition at takashimaya...we started with a small chat...the feeling is nice =)

i use to ask myself in the past why did we ended...and seriously after all these years i never thought that we will keep in contact again...but i guess things are had to predict...

its really nice to hear that he is doing fine now and have drop all those bad habits...i really hope we can still keep in touch...he is afterall, a man whom i once loved too =)

whether we will continue our fate or not...lets just leave it to god...i just want to treasure our friendship for the time being now...

thoughts

been feeling rather emotionless these few days...i think some people call that "lost"....its been 11 days since we've parted...i do miss him in a way...but not too intense...friends have been asking me why did it end this way...i really cant give them an answer as i dont even know it myself...dont have the urge to know it too...just hope that he can be happy....

its world cup season....8 years back when i just knew him..it was world cup season too...memories..haiz...memories...

the hardest thing to let go in a relationship...are always those memories...

kinda tired mentally...when will i be able to settle down with the right man....

i miss Tong suddenly...

stupid company

out of boredom...i've decided to join a well known supermarket just under my block as a part time cashier...basically their part time pay is really miserable...never in my life had i taken such an amount before...but since i dont intend to stay long in that company...just for the sake of trying out and having fun...i took the job...overall i would say the job itself is still ok la...its my chief cashier that makes me wonder how on earth did she get that position...

for some of you who dunno there are counterfeit floating around singapore since the start of 2010....it comes in the form of ten dollars note...there was a day when i was counting my float money to start the day...i found two ten counterfeit dollars among the money....so i call out to the chief cashier and told her about it...

chief cashier : ya why?
me : here got 2 counterfeit...
chief cashier : aiya nevermind de la...can use de...just give to customer
me : huh??? do u know using counterfeit money is a serious crime??
cheif cashier : can use one...bank also accept
me : if bank can accept then u bank in lor
(very annoyingly and grumpily she take the 2 ten dollars and change into real money for me)

i was like WTF?? so unethical lor...we already knew its counterfeit....and why are we using it...im freaking sure she wouldnt want to be given counterfeit money too right...if she dont want ppl to do this to her then why is she doing this to others...and worse still...some of my colleagues also dont bother when i told them how to differentiate the counterfeit and the real money...one of them can even answer me..."i dont care de la...i will just accept" -_-" i seriously find this company people got very serious problem lor...i've since rejected quite a number of counterfeit but problem is...my colleague just accept and accept...end up our float always got counterfeit inside...zzzzzzzzzzz.....their management really sucks big time...anyway i've already resign from this pathetic job...i just simply cannot force myself to work in this company with such a fuckup management...wish them all the best then...hopefully they wont get into trouble with the goverment in future for using counterfeit...god bless them =/

disappointment - giving up

i guess lonely souls knows nowhere to spend their money....

been out drinking with my friends these few nights...we went over to siam disco....seeing the way the men spend their money on ladies drinks and flowers...haiz...i rather they spend their money on liquor or for themself instead of that....i always remind them not to do it...but it seems they pay no heeds to my words...i dont want to be seen as a naggy person and step on their wreath...therefore i decided to just keep my mouth shut from now onwards...as long as they are happy can le....all i can say is...men money are easy to earn!!!!

disappointment

today i just realise something very stupid done by someone and seriously it cause me utter disappointment...

i am sad....

you fail as a man...

its over

21/06/2002 to 08/06/2010

finally our relationship comes to a full stop on this day....well...i didnt shed a tear...i guess i've convinced myself to let go too....sense of loss? nope...maybe its bcos i've been living by myself for many months le...so with or without him doesnt make any difference...

told myself i wont cry for him anymore...not bcos i no longer love him...but im using another method to love him...and that is to let him go....seriously till now i still dunno whats the cause of this breakup...and frankly...i have no wish to ask him why too....i dont see the point of getting an answer to something which doesnt matter anymore...

i sincerely wish he will be happy...from now onwards...i'm going to live life alone without him...hope he did change for the better and remain that way....

all the best to you...

i know i will be strong....the end of a relationship marks the beginning of a new one...hopefully i really find mr right on my next one...dont wish to spend so much time and effort again only to realise its all wrong...i aint young anymore...

wish me luck =)

been sleeping really late recently.....having on and off headache too....wondering am i thinking too much that cause all those things...am i ready to let go? i told myself that by tuesday night which is tonight...i still dont get an answer from him...i will take it that we are officially ended....my face book status will be change to "single" too...is this what i wanted? im seriously in a dilemma....its afterall an 8 years relationship...just the thoughts of having to start all over from step 1 again with my future spouse is enough to put me off...why cant he be my last relationship....why do i have to go thru all these? im so tired....

i'm really thankful to all my friends for standing by me these few days....i really appreciate it....its a fact that friends matter alot to a person's life...and right now they are all helping me to tide through this bad time....thanks all....

lets see how tonight goes....i guess he will avoid everything again....its ok then...after tonight if i still dont get an answer....i hope i have the courage to just end it....i really need a break

judgement day of our love

its judgement day soon...and i actually decide to let him make the decision...not bcos i want him to decide our fate...rather its more on i wouldnt want any regrets in the future...perhaps to some people, this is a good news to them...those who secretly wish to see me fall...but to me...it could be a blessing in disguise...the only part which i really find it a pity...is that we took 8 years to realise that things aint right...

went drinking with my dear friends in ratchada last night...couldnt help but i actually broke down infront of them...the pain...the hurt...it just keep wrenching my heart...if i were to behave as if nothing happens...then i really think i've got a big problem..

had a talk on the phone with him earlier on while i'm at muar, malaysia...i insist to know what have he decide for us...but was told that he will get back to me these few days...he say he need to think things over....at that moment my instinct just tell me...everything's gonna end soon....finally i know that he loves himself more than he loves me...its time to let go...

it definitely hurts...i can feel my heart wrenching and aching....its not gonna be easy....

sorry

sorry for the long absence...been kinda busy lately...will be back soon with my updates.... =D

beautiful things

what are the most beautiful things that have ever happen to you and touches your heart?

for me...i'm glad i have my dogs for accompany...although sometimes i've neglected them...but never once did they abandon me....i still remember there were once, after a big quarrel with cc....i cried in my room alone....and kenji, my maltese (at that time i only had him) is just right beside me....he just look at me, snuggle up close to me and he did the most amazing thing....he stand on his hinds and lick off the tears from my face.....after that he will just sit beside me.....occasionally turning his head over and look at me, as if he's checking to see if i'm alright....then he rest his head on my leg and just stay with me throughout the night...

although i dont have a beautiful marriage...i'm glad a had a very sensible daughter....though at times she piss me off...but most of the time she is well behaved....when i'm down and out...she would just help me if she have the means to....i'm really fortunate to have her by my side....i love you my girl =)

i had a wonderful coach too....have been following him since i'm 13 years old...learning dragon dance from him....thanks him for always being there for me...although at times i can get real difficult....but he's been really patient with me....we had our fair share of argument....but never once did we have bad blood....only him i guess...can really put up with my nonsense and rubbish hahaha...and i promise...once a mentor forever my mentor...thanks for the help he've rendered to me all along. i really appreciate it =)

and my naggy mum...although she often piss me off and do stupid things to me...till an extend that i thought of moving out and leave her alone....i knew she love me...but she's using all the wrong method...from me to my daughter....but still...im thankful that she did help me out and stand by me when its needed (most of the time i got to knock some sense into her before she know whats happening) hahaha....i may seems cold towards her...but im seriously appreciating all that she've done for us....thank you mum!

hmmmm...but sad to say...till now...none of the men i've met manage to touch me in my heart...if i really had to choose one...i guess maybe its tong....my relationship with him is very short...but i would have to admit he is really very good to me...fetch me to work in the morning if he could....always giving me the attention i need....still remember there was once...he went back to melaka during cny (he's a malaysian but got his PR in SG)...i went over to meet him...we spend the most memorable time there with him acting as my tour guide...bringing me around for food and shopping and keeping me accompany throughout my stay...when i have to come back to singapore for work....he actually drove all the way from melaka to singapore just to send me back and he went back to melaka again after dropping me at home....sweet of him isnt it =)....when he came back to SG after his cny leave....the first thing he did was to call me and meet me up...and of cos not forgetting he offered to bring my dad for check up when i'm not free on the day itself...how many men out there can do all these???....but well...happiness dont last....due to some personal reason..we broke off....i really wonder how is he now...hope things goes well with him....

looking back now.....i suddenly realise not alot of things touched me in my heart hahaha....am i consider cold blooded or what? anyway...its not easy to find someone whom can really reach into your heart...i'm glad i met the above mention...thank you for the love and care i've got from them...love them lots~

been kinda bz for the past week...training on monday to thursday.....friday and saturday performance...sunday off to malaysia seremban for the free style lion dance competition....

performance overall still consider acceptable ba....been so many years since i did dragon dancing...although a few hiccups occur...i'm still glad i was given the chance....not the most perfect one but i do treasure the time spend training with them =) my bro told me to join them back for their every thursday dragon training but i'm still hesitating about going bcos it just seems so weird....i'm suppose to only help them for this 2 performance....and moreover we are from different troupes.....maybe i'll check with boon before i make any decision ba...

today 2 of my good friends are feeling moody and unhappy....although i cant really do anything to help...i really hope they can cheer up....

will be going to seremban again this coming weekend with my longshi.com kakis....saturday and sunday i'll be away from singapore for the competition again....

its been 2 months plus since i last saw cc....have i gotten use to it? i guess somehow ba....

haha and lastly...i found out something really childish done by a person....its just so lame and pathetic of that someone for having to resort to using this way hahaha....this just goes to shows how "matured" that person is....anyway...cant be bother by all these lame kukus lolz....to hell they go!!!! cheers to my life~~~~

1 more day to performance

woooo...1 more day to go and i will have to perform...kinda nervous as its been ages since i did dragon dance....im tensed up too that i will run in the wrong direction as the dragon and also worried i couldnt catch up with them as they are reallly fast lor....been trying real hard to remember the "tao shi".....hopefully tonight training i can get things right....kaka is helping to run their dragon and isabel will be helping out with their instruments too....hope she can handle it.....

god bless me, kaka and isabel *pray*

training

found this pic hidden somewhere in my wardrobe...decided to scan it up to my pc hahahaha....know where am i? i'm number 4 dragon pearl from the left with the black white dragon lolz....how i miss those days....this pic is taken in 1993 or 1994 national day parade....cant really remember le

will be helping CJH with their performance on this coming friday and saturday...went for the training last night....didnt really join them in the training as i'm busy trying to remember the route they run...they are really fast lor and i'm kinda worried i cant chase up with them hahaha....

there will be training for these few days...tonight i have to go down again....kinda enjoy the whole process....and if chance permit...i would like to take part in the luminous dragon dance competition once again...i really enjoy the feeling of the competition and the whole process of training hard for the day....hopefully my dream comes true....

frozen heart

mcame across a sentence in facebook....

When there's a girl who doesn't cry anymore , it's not because she's heartless , but because she was so hurt , she can't feel anymore ..

how true can this sentence be? i must say i agree with it....when it come to a stage where a girl was hurt times and again....that definitely wont turn her into a wonder woman or superwoman.....but instead it will numb her heart....her heart will just get chiller and chiller.....till its frozen and the number of times the heart beat will gradually decrease too....till it stop....sad isnt it....

sometimes i really find women amazing....they can withhold lots of heartache and disappointment...she can even give chances and chances to the man she loved....but men? they will never be able to even allow a speck of dust in his eyes.....do we still call that equal? of cos there are still the minority =)

i think i'm really beginning to let go....lots of things just doesnt seems to matter anymore....from alot of incidents....i just gather that our love have moved somewhere else.....hmmmm....in fact i've started to live life by myself since last year june.....perhaps its a way of preparing myself for the future battle alone....well....it may be alone, it may be not haha

we are still together in fact...and i've chose to let fate decide where we should go....what is meant to be mine will eventually be mine....what is not will never be.....i'm just tired of trying and trying....i'm just tired of being the only actress in this show....no others....its just Me, I and Myself....asking the same thing everyday will only make me sick haha.....i gave up asking...

its coming 8 years soon....one more month to go.....i guess what the older folks say were right afterall...long-run relationship will just tired both parties out....its either both get attached when both reach the 2nd to 3rd year of dating or the chances of getting married will just get lower and lower....me? seriously i have not thought of marrying him ever since i've met him due to his "that time status"....not even till he told me abt the marriage plan when he's inside given that his status is back to normal now....everything is just so vague that i dont even want to hold on any hopes to it....perhaps i'm tired...really tired.....

Sometime you just have to hold your head up high, blink away the tears and say good-bye....

joyous mood

went steamboat earlier on with cz, yap, jed wee and zhihui....have a very enjoyable meal together...somehow or rather...our topic start off with dogs....jed then say he was looking to buy another dog.....i then tried my very best and ask him to adopt instead of buying hahaha....zhihui say he looking for a dog too...i then promise them i'll help them keep a lookout for their preferred breed.....its really nice when i see them getting interested in adopting when they start asking me about adoption procedure.....anyway i didnt paint them a beautiful picture on adoption....instead i intro them to the cruel fate of puppy mill....as usual they didnt know this thing even exist....singaporeans are really not well informed of this thing and its sad when i see people buying and buying puppies off the petshops or farms.....cant our government do something about it and let singapore be a better place to be in? cant singapore be an animal friendly place too? haiz....why did singapore become a multi racial country? why cant we be like those Caucasians countries where most of them love dogs and welcome them everywhere....when can all this happen? its sad to see dogs being discriminate at most of the place in sg...its sad when we humans treat those dogs as dogs and didnt know how to respect these animals....most of the times i do feel that human beings are the most cruel creatures in the world....i hereby wish that karma shall befall those who abuse their human rights on helpless animals....i really hope one fine day....our people are more tolerant of these animals and learn how to respect them....if only...i hope....

flattered

kinda flattered hahaha...but its for me to know for you to find out why am i flattered lolz....anyway....i'm feeling good today....cz asking me for steamboat tonight at bt timah....i have already onz her =) miss cz so much too....will take lots of pics on our steamboat and tag all my dear friends like how they always tag me with pics of their food lolz....

yesterday had a very long talk with my bro...i think 2 hrs plus....can feel the phone burning my ear....he emo again lor....so i lend him my ears and hear him blabber on and on....found out a little secret of his hahahaha...anyway i believe thats a passing stage only...

need to do housework soon....staying at the upper floor sometimes sucks big time...cos of the dust....haiz....mop liao next day dusty again....sianz....

dunno why i just feel over the moon today leh.....hmmmm....i guess its bcos of a joke i've heard....kinda funny i guess....it has got something to do with self entertaining de lolz.....some bo liao and lame thing la hahaha....anyway its over and i'm glad =)

i love tamtam, giangian, dindin, kaka and of cos not forgetting my cc~~~~

thai songs

this two song reminds me of HOS....reminds me of my thai friends too....wondering how are they getting on....hope everything goes well with them =)

spring cleaning~~

its spring cleaning time!!!!!! no its not chinese new year approaching hahahaha...my spring cleaning refers to my heart....now its time to spring clean my heart and get rid of all the trash.....unwanted memories...unwanted friends...unwanted shit lolz....

will need to go thru alot of things to get things sort out....deleting unwanted stuffs from my usual connection....will definitely need some time....meanwhile i just enjoy my life...enjoy being with my fun-to-be friends....enjoy life with cc....to hell with all those rubbish~~~~~yeah!!!!! lolz

just wondering....why on earth did god create human into different characters? to create special-ness? to create more interesting lives? to create more chaos? hahahaha....i guess its the latter because if thats not what he have in his mind....then there will be no wars, fighting, quarrelling and stuffs....sometimes i find fate so amusing....link strangers to become friends....then from friends change back to strangers again....weird isnt it lolz....so in short its just nature wanting us to hurt one another....no one is ever perfect in a way...i guess that makes up to the salt n spices in our lives.....without all these people...life would be boring yea hahaha....but sometimes i do feel very amuse by certain humans reaction or behaviour towards certain issue....they always give me a good laugh to brighten up my day =P

well...so my theory of being with animals are much much more better than humans is correct....at least with animals, if they ever bite me..it just simply means i mishandle them or cause discomfort to them....unlike humans....i always have to guess what they are thinking and stuff....tiring lor....my brain cells are decreasing as times goes by lolz....

why would anyone expect perfection in another person when they arent perfect them self?? pot calling the kettle black?? or just another case of "i'm saint you are devil"?? i'm never a fake person...its either u like me or you hate me kind....i'm also a damn fucking straight person...like means like....dont like means dont like....if i sense anything wrong...i'll just ask....i prefer to have a heart to heart session then keeping it bottled up and allowing "misunderstanding" (if there's any) to gets further.....trying to be cool and keep everything to yourself seriously does not help at all....i wont say you are great nor will i be bother by how you are acting lolz.....anyway the "you" i'm using now refers to general term just in case anyone thought i'm referring to them =)

i have no qualms on dropping anybody as a friend when i find that they arent worth my time....whats the point of behaving plastic infront of each other....waste of time isnt it....

of cos i'm aint no saint myself....i have my weird characters, my imperfectness, so even if one doesnt appreciate me...there will sure be others who does....friends are just passing clouds....some stay while most goes....there is really nothing to feel sad about....i guess thats life =)

random post

hmmmm....just a random post tonight....

weather nowadays hasn't been good....one moment hot one moment cold...weird...

this month i've got 2 wedding invitations -_-"....pocket gonna burn a big hole hahahaha....but its nice seeing people getting married....so sweet....plus the meeting up with all my friends...i just loved it =D

end of may i'm going oversea with my longshi.com kakis....not going very far...only to malaysia ,KL to watch pole jumping lion dance competition...

recently i'm really enjoying my life...love all the people around me....love all those happenings....me and cc also getting along fine =D

my younger bro, kaka have fly off to HK....hope he enjoy himself there....as for tamtam, my dear friend....she stay in HK for more than a month already and still not wanting to come back hahahaha....guess she's migrating soon lolz...

looking forward to my genting trip with my friends in july...its been ages since i last went there....miss the cool cool weather.

made some really great friends too...whom can put up with all my nonsense hahahaha....all of them are really great to be with =)

thaddea went for her virgin filming this month too...saw "alamak" and a new actress, sorry cant recall her name =X ......pics can be found at my facebook....although filming is tough job....but it's indeed a nice experience....looking forward to the show too which will be in cinema on august...

going to plan for my trip to HK too...hopefully i can return to tsingyi asap....miss my friends there....

hahaha...reading back on this post then i realise its indeed very random...or rather a summarize of what have happen.....everytime when i think of blogging i just get stuck....i guess its time to make some changes liao....will keep you guys update again =)