thoughts

am awaiting for the day im starting work...been rotting at home lately...didnt really hang out with my kakis...only time im not home is when wee hoong and his colleague came over to jb and i actually travel up to jb and find them...other than that is when he came over to sg...took them ard sg for a few hours...

hmmm....got my friends to check for other job opportunities for me too...i guess im ready to stay away from this lion and dragon dance circle...kinda sick of everything...i need to lead a more normal lifestyle from now onwards...

my bro, giving me problem again...and im seriously tired too of having to pacify him again and again...its just so...torturing for me i guess...so mentally strained staying with a "time bomb"....i hope i can get away from all these...now i just wanted money and my friends...i wanted to save and use my money for holidays instead...i really have no more time for all the rubbish which i have been facing for so many years.

perhaps...i should have left this scene donkey years ago...maybe i would be much better off by now....

anyway...i hope i can attain my dreams...i had enough of all these...god please bless me...

online movies update

these are all the online movies which i've watch recently...some of the movies are kinda old...but as i didnt even watch the front part...i've decided to start from their first part to the final part...now im only left with "pirates of the caribbean - mermaid" which i've yet to catch it on theatre...

pirates of the caribbean is indeed a nice show...all parts of it...johnny depp is kinda cute too haha...highly recommended to watch...rating 4/5

fast & furious is another film which is recommended too...i guess guys will loved this movie...all parts are exciting and nice...4/5 for the rating too.

the room mate....is a thriller...about a girl who have mental disorder...not bad i would say...4/5 too i would rate....

heartache

"You hurt me more than What i deserve...is it just because I loved you more than What u deserve..."



haven been feeling happy these few days...emotionally drained...too tired to do anything....been staying at home for the past 5 days....

last night his current gf came over to find me...we had some talk...obviously she is so into him now that whatever things that happen...she seems to be siding him...well...i guess...love is really blind afterall...

i guess alot of ppl must be thinking im upset bcos he left me and get himself a gf...but thats not the case...i can really accept that the love between us has cease...but what i couldnt tolerate was the betrayal and lies he gave to me...even up till the day we broke off....its just too much for me to bear...a man whom i have been staying with and loving for so long has all along treated me like a fool...i feel so hurt...so used...do i deserve all that?

the truth

truth hurts...and finally...i've saw the whole picture

happy 16th mths to he and she...and happy coming 12 mths break off to him and me...notice whats wrong here? it simply means...before he ended our relationship...he started with another woman...and im naively thinking...he will be my last man...what a joke right?

thks to him...my heart is shattered once again....im now having a wound that will never heal....its a sucky feeling...when all along i thot its was other issue that causes our drifting apart...but in actual fact its bcos of a 3rd party...

i know i will never forgive him again...i know i will hate him...i've finally remove him from my phone list and facebook...now i pray that i can remove him from my heart and mind...he definitely dont deserve my everything....

low yong chau, i fucking hate u to the core! hate u for doing all these to me! i was blind for 8 years, and was in pain for the 1 year since we ended...u are such a bastard! really! and im never ever forgive u for all these!!!

movie - fast 5

finally i went watch this movie with aminah, jos and bel 2 days back at tiong bahru plaza...so much movies to watch with so little time and monies hahaha....

nice show i would say...although certain part of the story doesnt seems to make much sense....4/5 would be the rating...beautiful cars beautiful women in there =D

so much movies coming up...i wanna watch laddaland, dylan dog, pirates of the carribean etc etc...anyway this is just a short update on my blog hahaha....be back soon =D

movie - priest

went watch this movie in 3D with bel, aminah, kaka and jos at cineleisure....actually plan to watch fast and furious 5 de but bcos jos and kaka have alrdy seen before so we chose to watch priest....thks to the age rating NC16, we had to waste a ticket for bel and follow by smuggling her in lolzz....which means we bought another ticket for her on another movie that doesnt comes with age rating and near to our show time and a total of 5 tickets for this movie, priest....overall we bought 6 tickets altogether =_=".

show wise i would say its not bad...rating 3.5/5....kinda exciting...but the vampires inside is fugly...looks more like the creatures from "species"...you wouldnt have guess those fugly things are vampires if the show did not mention they are vampires hahaha...i guess there will be a part 2 for this movie according to the ending and im looking forward to that =)

for those who like fantasy genre movie can go for this...

new job!!!!

saw the recruitment ad from acres few days back at fb and decided to send in my resume for a try...was kinda happy when they send me an email asking for an interview...but am kinda worried too that after the interview...they will ask me go back and wait for call which means no chance....

had my interview at 1pm....the person in charge, miss anbu is out for rescue mission and i was direct to another lady which i forget her name =P we had a really long talk and she was explaining to me what my job scope will be and stuff...after about one hour...she was asking when i can start...i was kinda happy they willing to employ me as it has always been my wish to work with animals....pay wise i can say is very miserable...lower than all the jobs i've held before but i dont really mind about it....the lady then say she will check with miss anbu on when should i start work since now is already the 3rd week of may...i would be expecting her call soon =D

thks to my bro for the patient he had cos he was waiting ( 1 hr ) just outside acres for me so we can go off together and make payment for the car rental for my this weekend trip to KL...i feel so bad lor making him wait under the shade with his car haha...when i get into his car...he even tell me to take over his van for my convenience....but condiditon is i have to get his van repair lolx...change gear box and air con compressor...installment for his van he will settle...the rest is on me...so nice of him right...im touched! gonna get this done soon as the place im working at is really ulu...i really need a transport for that.

anyway im looking forward to my new job...i know i will enjoy this job too...all the best to me!!!!!!!!!!!!

unhappy

yesterday is old man's birthday...i call him with a happy mood wishing him a happy birthday....but end up we had an argument and he said something which hurts me badly...

im really starting to wonder...after 20 over years...is this what i wanted...is it worth sacrificing so much just for my interest....

this is the second time im tearing bcos of my association...the hurt i got...is seriously enough to kill me...i know he dont really mean to say it...but isnt there a saying that words say in a moment of heat always carries some truth in them....i can handle it if its anybody who say that to me...but why him??

im tired...really tired...tired of having to deal with all these...tired of the unfairness at times...perhaps i should just disappear for some time to cool myself down.

i've just send in a resume for a post which im really interested in...i hope i get the job...if they really recruit me...it could be a good chance for me to leave this circle...i guess its really time that i let go...毕竟天下没有不散的宴席....pray hard for me that i get response from them

情绪在今晚落到了谷底

为你我付出这么的多，，你却让我痛到有苦不能说。


情绪在今晚落到了谷底

just what is wrong with me tonight?

=(

happy mother's day

its mother's day yesterday, as usual, i didnt celebrate this occasion with my mum...and as usual, its my sis who brought my mum out for meal....

i guess it bcos of the way im brought up...expressing one self to another is not a trend in my family...i didnt celebrate mother's day or her birthday doesnt mean i dont love her...its all in my heart...

thinking back on the time when im young...giving my parents countless problems...rebellious...problematic....i would like to say "im sorry" to my parents...

although there are times where my mum did stupid things to me, although there are times when i hate her for being so unreasonable...i knew she still love me in her heart....and that im forever her baby...my dad had left me abt 9 years....and all the while its my mum who is holding on...i really appreciate everything...

i will be bringing my mum for a belated lunch tml noon....although mother's day had pass....but its the chance of sitting together and dine that really matters isnt it?

mum, you have really done great all these while, although you dont use the internet and will not get a chance to read and understand what i say, but i would still want to express my heartfelt thanks to you...i love you mummy! pls stay healthy and happy always <3

last but not least....wishing you a very happy mother's day =D

do i still love him?

saw him yesterday at eunos...a mixture of feeling just came gushing up to me...love, hate, sadness, memories....so much more....have i really gotten over this man whom i have love for the past 8 years...

its coming soon to 1 year since we broke off...i do admit i still miss him every now and then...its an angel & devil fight afterall....i feel i still love him when i recall those happy moments...but i feel so betrayed and hurt when i think back on what he did to me after all that i've done...just what is my heart and mind trying to do....both are going different ways and seriously...i feel so lost....i guess, yes, i still love this man.

can u imagine me tearing for him ever after we have been apart for so long...its a love and hate affair...i love him for being sweet and nice to me...but i hate him too for the betrayal he have given me times and again...why does he have to hurt me so bad =(

i really dunno when will i heal...or is it gonna be a wound that will never recover....will i ever find a man who can replace him in my heart?

low yong chau, i love you...but on the other hand, i hate you too!

demise of my beloved friend - rabbit

received a very shocking news last night yesterday (03/05/2011) at abt 2+am...one of my close friend, jamez tan aka rabbit was dead in an accident...rush down to the mortuary but didnt manage to see him...saw my group of friends and his wife-to-be just outside....the atmosphere is so down...everybody is crying...my heart just sank....memories of us hanging out at clubs and halloween just came flowing back to me....haiz....life is really unexpected...his family decided to just hold a one day wake for him...and in another few hours time...will be the last time we are sending him off...

rabbit...pls rest in peace...you will forever be remembered by all of us...thks for the laughter and joy which you have given us...should there be a next life...i would love to have u as my brother again...do go in peace...take care~