pleasant surprise

had a very pleasant surprise last sunday...which is on the 27th june 2010...was parking my car under my block when i receive an sms from him...asking me am i free for a coffee...i reply shortly "sure...will reach your place in 15 mins time"

its been 17 long years since we last sat together and had a good chat...he is my ex boyfriend =)
a pretty boy....but due to some misunderstanding...we distance off and just stop contacting each other...over the years i did see him once in a blue moon...but never have i strike up a conversation with him...its was till last year lion dance competition at takashimaya...we started with a small chat...the feeling is nice =)

i use to ask myself in the past why did we ended...and seriously after all these years i never thought that we will keep in contact again...but i guess things are had to predict...

its really nice to hear that he is doing fine now and have drop all those bad habits...i really hope we can still keep in touch...he is afterall, a man whom i once loved too =)

whether we will continue our fate or not...lets just leave it to god...i just want to treasure our friendship for the time being now...

thoughts

been feeling rather emotionless these few days...i think some people call that "lost"....its been 11 days since we've parted...i do miss him in a way...but not too intense...friends have been asking me why did it end this way...i really cant give them an answer as i dont even know it myself...dont have the urge to know it too...just hope that he can be happy....

its world cup season....8 years back when i just knew him..it was world cup season too...memories..haiz...memories...

the hardest thing to let go in a relationship...are always those memories...

kinda tired mentally...when will i be able to settle down with the right man....

i miss Tong suddenly...

stupid company

out of boredom...i've decided to join a well known supermarket just under my block as a part time cashier...basically their part time pay is really miserable...never in my life had i taken such an amount before...but since i dont intend to stay long in that company...just for the sake of trying out and having fun...i took the job...overall i would say the job itself is still ok la...its my chief cashier that makes me wonder how on earth did she get that position...

for some of you who dunno there are counterfeit floating around singapore since the start of 2010....it comes in the form of ten dollars note...there was a day when i was counting my float money to start the day...i found two ten counterfeit dollars among the money....so i call out to the chief cashier and told her about it...

chief cashier : ya why?
me : here got 2 counterfeit...
chief cashier : aiya nevermind de la...can use de...just give to customer
me : huh??? do u know using counterfeit money is a serious crime??
cheif cashier : can use one...bank also accept
me : if bank can accept then u bank in lor
(very annoyingly and grumpily she take the 2 ten dollars and change into real money for me)

i was like WTF?? so unethical lor...we already knew its counterfeit....and why are we using it...im freaking sure she wouldnt want to be given counterfeit money too right...if she dont want ppl to do this to her then why is she doing this to others...and worse still...some of my colleagues also dont bother when i told them how to differentiate the counterfeit and the real money...one of them can even answer me..."i dont care de la...i will just accept" -_-" i seriously find this company people got very serious problem lor...i've since rejected quite a number of counterfeit but problem is...my colleague just accept and accept...end up our float always got counterfeit inside...zzzzzzzzzzz.....their management really sucks big time...anyway i've already resign from this pathetic job...i just simply cannot force myself to work in this company with such a fuckup management...wish them all the best then...hopefully they wont get into trouble with the goverment in future for using counterfeit...god bless them =/

disappointment - giving up

i guess lonely souls knows nowhere to spend their money....

been out drinking with my friends these few nights...we went over to siam disco....seeing the way the men spend their money on ladies drinks and flowers...haiz...i rather they spend their money on liquor or for themself instead of that....i always remind them not to do it...but it seems they pay no heeds to my words...i dont want to be seen as a naggy person and step on their wreath...therefore i decided to just keep my mouth shut from now onwards...as long as they are happy can le....all i can say is...men money are easy to earn!!!!

disappointment

today i just realise something very stupid done by someone and seriously it cause me utter disappointment...

i am sad....

you fail as a man...

its over

21/06/2002 to 08/06/2010

finally our relationship comes to a full stop on this day....well...i didnt shed a tear...i guess i've convinced myself to let go too....sense of loss? nope...maybe its bcos i've been living by myself for many months le...so with or without him doesnt make any difference...

told myself i wont cry for him anymore...not bcos i no longer love him...but im using another method to love him...and that is to let him go....seriously till now i still dunno whats the cause of this breakup...and frankly...i have no wish to ask him why too....i dont see the point of getting an answer to something which doesnt matter anymore...

i sincerely wish he will be happy...from now onwards...i'm going to live life alone without him...hope he did change for the better and remain that way....

all the best to you...

i know i will be strong....the end of a relationship marks the beginning of a new one...hopefully i really find mr right on my next one...dont wish to spend so much time and effort again only to realise its all wrong...i aint young anymore...

wish me luck =)

been sleeping really late recently.....having on and off headache too....wondering am i thinking too much that cause all those things...am i ready to let go? i told myself that by tuesday night which is tonight...i still dont get an answer from him...i will take it that we are officially ended....my face book status will be change to "single" too...is this what i wanted? im seriously in a dilemma....its afterall an 8 years relationship...just the thoughts of having to start all over from step 1 again with my future spouse is enough to put me off...why cant he be my last relationship....why do i have to go thru all these? im so tired....

i'm really thankful to all my friends for standing by me these few days....i really appreciate it....its a fact that friends matter alot to a person's life...and right now they are all helping me to tide through this bad time....thanks all....

lets see how tonight goes....i guess he will avoid everything again....its ok then...after tonight if i still dont get an answer....i hope i have the courage to just end it....i really need a break

judgement day of our love

its judgement day soon...and i actually decide to let him make the decision...not bcos i want him to decide our fate...rather its more on i wouldnt want any regrets in the future...perhaps to some people, this is a good news to them...those who secretly wish to see me fall...but to me...it could be a blessing in disguise...the only part which i really find it a pity...is that we took 8 years to realise that things aint right...

went drinking with my dear friends in ratchada last night...couldnt help but i actually broke down infront of them...the pain...the hurt...it just keep wrenching my heart...if i were to behave as if nothing happens...then i really think i've got a big problem..

had a talk on the phone with him earlier on while i'm at muar, malaysia...i insist to know what have he decide for us...but was told that he will get back to me these few days...he say he need to think things over....at that moment my instinct just tell me...everything's gonna end soon....finally i know that he loves himself more than he loves me...its time to let go...

it definitely hurts...i can feel my heart wrenching and aching....its not gonna be easy....

sorry

sorry for the long absence...been kinda busy lately...will be back soon with my updates.... =D