fear

nothing can describe the fear im having now....the fear of losing someone i love...the fear of dunno whats gonna happen tomorrow...the fear of being alone...the fear of being abandon...the fear of feeling so lost...everyday im hearing new things from the doctor...im really so afraid....im really scare of losing her...i dont want to be abandon!

today the doc told us that things doesnt look too good...it seems that its her lung that is giving her all the problem now...doc ask us to be prepare for the worst...i dread hearing that...i dont want her to go...she promise me that she will hold on and fight till the end...she promise me she will come home with me....mummy..pls dont break your promise =~(

why didnt i manage to prevent this accident...why didnt i find a car and send her to my aunt place as arrange in the first place...why....i hate all these...

pls dont bring my mum away from me...i still need her by my side...i have yet to learn lots of things from her...please let her come back to me....please....i really pray and hope that i will only get good news from now onwards...please dont gimme the roller coaster ride again...im afraid...afraid that i will just collapse...im so mentally and physically strained =(