friends??? betrayal????

have always wanted to blog about this issue...but have been dragging time after time too...i really dunno....am i cursed? or am i blind....

used to have a good friend (lets name her "S")...can be consider best friend ba...although i didnt know "S" for a long long time...but we do share alot of things together...we meet up for meals, overnight chit chatting, do crazy stuffs, sit by the seaside, share secrets and alot more....i get into witch craft bcos of "S" too...she is the one who teaches me about spells and lots more....she can be consider my mentor and best friend...haiz...but she betray my trust in her for a bastard...

during that time when i found out about the betrayal...i waited for "S" to come to me with an explanation...i waited to give our friendship a chance...but....she chose to hide away and avoid me...im upset, angry and disappointed bcos i really didnt expect her to give up our friendship over a gutless, balless and fat arsehole...i didnt know our friendship mean so little to her...or maybe all these while...it only a one sided thought...i was never anything....*hurt*

-our friendship end-

i had another casual friend...also know this bastard de...she too, always mention how much she dont like this arsehole, never contact him etc etc...but tonight, i realise i might be a fool again for believeing in her too...hahaha...what a joke ar...if what she type in that forum is true...it simply means im taken for another ride again...*sigh*

why? is there something wrong with me? why all these things keep happening to me? i always believe there are true friends in this world...but it seems...im wrong...

i have been asking myself too...what if one day i saw "S" on the street..would i say hi? would i smile? would i avoid? or would i take it that i didnt see her...frankly speaking...till now i have not get an answer...even if i were to forgive her now...everything has change...i know i will not trust her again...she really left a deep cut in my heart....

maybe its true afterall...never believe in others but yourself....maybe its true everything happens for a reason too....maybe its just not meant to be....

im tired...