its been a long absense for me from my blog...lots of things happen...i dont even know how should i start blogging down.

was away to KL last week and had a big fight with him, it hurts terribly, to the extend that i call it off.....didnt know the pain could be so bad for a 3 months relationship.

few days later i went back to KL for videoing, saw him again...the heartache just gets more intense...i realise i just cant let go =(

we had a small talk over the whole thing again...i know i've hurt him with certain things which i've done...but it doesnt means i dont feel anything too...

the final conclusion after our talk is to give each other a chance to start all over again...although im so afraid of history repeating...i know im willing to give it a shoot again...hopefully things work out fine this time round.

will be starting out on a job which im highly interested in on 18th dec...it will be a trial run for me...hope i can make it...really wish to venture into this line since ages ago...now that im given a chance, i must treasure it =)

thks to kx too for his lobang...i got myself a part time freelance photographer job...although its not highly paid...its still better then me doing nothing...so meanwhile i'll just grab it and set things going...

year end is coming...i really hope things will turn better for me next year...

happy 3rd month

happy 3rd month to you...

today marks the 3rd month into our relationship...but instead of being happy...i felt hurt and sadness...not bcos im too free to think of all the nonsense...not bcos i got nothing better to do...but its a fact things have change...been scrolling down my facebook for the past few days...looking back at my past status and your past comments actually make me smile and feel the sweetness which i was having at that time...but somehow now that feeling is gone....

i dunno what went wrong? where is the anticipation we had, gone? is that a sign? a sign that things wont last long...im really so tired...i really dont wish having to starts things all over again...its hurts...do you know that?

curiosity kills the cat??

its just so scary when a once loving relationship turns into a sour and full of hatred enmity...chance upon his ex's blog quite sometimes back and read thru...the most recent post was actually scolding him...and well ermmm...i guess she's scolding me too (if im not wrong in my guessing) hahaha...its a misunderstanding anyway...the whole thing really set me wondering what happen between them...what have he done to cause so much hatred in her...from what i knew...their relationship didnt last very long...or could it be the unhappy times they had together are way much more than their happy times...well...i guess certain things are sometimes better left unknown isnt it....

all i knew was...she loved him deeply...be it from the post or my woman's instinct...i just knew he meant alot to her...although the words she used are just so simple...but i can really feel the hurt she is having....it must have been disastrous when he decided to leave her....

from her fb i saw that she have been emphasizing how happy she is now...what a good life she is leading too...but is that the real case? i do not deny that time heals all wound...but the more she update on how happy she is...the more fake i would feel it is...it just seems to me that she is trying to tell others she is ok...but maybe she is in fact not...trying too hard to cover i guess...tho i hope she will be fine soon...well...nobody is indispensable in this world anyway...so losing anyone will not let the earth stop rotating....

hopefully i wont come to a day when my heart has to be filled with hatred....i hate that feeling...all im asking for is simple happiness....will it be granted?

wish

have been thinking of going oversea to stay and work for quite sometimes...simply bcos i dont see any future i will get in singapore...but i have too much things which i can yet to let go....the most basic one is my family....

i've always envy my friends who can just leave everything behind and go for their dreams...when will it be my turn? kinda stressful to be living in a country thats always in a rush of time...maybe its bcos im a very laidback person...never like to push myself into getting things done...since young, i've always prefer to take my own timing to get things done...some people call that lazy hahahaha...but well...individual preference isnt it =)

hopefully one day i can have my wish come true...change a new enviroment...fulfil my dreams and live happily ever after...pray for me yea =)